Now that I am back to work, I am enjoying the little things, like taking the bus again. This may not seem like a big deal, but I have not taken the bus in over two years, due to the pandemic. I forgot how much I love it. It is a really relaxing way to start the morning. I enjoy the quiet half an hour ride, as it provides a cherished opportunity to read or practice French on Duolingo. It sets the tone for a great day ahead.
It is funny how quickly your body and mind adjusts to being back in the office. Within the first two days of returning, it felt like I had never left, but in a good way. It was so great to see my colleagues again. There were lots of coffee dates and opportunities to catch up. I am fortunate to work with some of the kindest, smartest, and values-driven people. I enjoyed reconnecting with them all.
All in all, it has been a positive week, and I am excited to see what opportunities lie ahead to do some meaningful work in the months ahead. #JoyBlogging
Although I have been divorced for six years now, I am fortunate to remain close with my ex-husband’s large, Irish family. I was a member of the Carrolls for over twenty years and our heart connections remain strong.
Over the weekend, I was invited to attend a farewell party for an elderly relative. He is moving to the United Kingdom to live with his daughter, and for many of us, this will be our final goodbye. It was a rare opportunity for the extended family to gather together: three generations of siblings, cousins, uncles, aunts, nieces and nephews travelled into say farewell.
The house was full of laughter and the table was teeming with food. There were many hugs, kisses and animated conversations with old friends. I looked around the party and I felt such gratitude to still have these wonderful people in my life. It is a gift that some things never change. #JoyBlogging
I love Taylor Swifts’ entire new album, “Midnights“, but the song that she wrote with Lana del Rey, “Snow on the Beach”, particularly resonates with me.
Gentle parenting is an umbrella term for a parenting approach that aims “to recognize and meet the needs of children in a gentler, more respectful way without using traditional, authoritarian-style discipline and punishments.” The gentle-parenting framework focuses on raising children “who feel seen and loved” and “teaching parents how to allow kids to have their big feelings while setting and holding strong boundaries.” Through this framework, parents are taught how to maintain boundaries with their children without the use of traditional discipline methods (e.g. time out, a “naughty chair,” spanking, “Go to your room!” etc.).
Maggie Nick, MSW, therapist and founder of Parenting with Perspectacles, contends that while gentle parenting is often misconstrued as letting your kids walk all over you, it is the biggest misconception. Many people think that because gentle parenting advises against harsh discipline, kids will become entitled or spoiled. However, Nick says, that is simply not the case.
“Meeting kids’ emotional needs helps them feel safe and secure, not entitled and spoiled,” she says. “And punishments are terrible teachers. It is completely possible, and not that hard, to hold kids accountable for their behaviour, teach them about the impact of their actions, while making them feel loved and supported.”
Tomorrow my seven month sabbatical ends and I return to work. I am feeling a mixture of excitement and anxiety. I am excited to see my colleagues. I am incredibly fortunate to love my work and my team. It means a lot to me to contribute to something bigger than myself and to help make a positive difference in the world. There have been less opportunities for me to do so since being on leave and I am looking forward to getting back to it.
I am feeling anxious as I was quite overloaded and stressed before I left on this break. Between supporting aging parents, parenting a teenager, working full-time, and managing a household on my own, I was tapped out. There is only so much time and energy to go around and I was consistently running on empty.
Once I stepped away from work, I genuinely expected most of my stress to disappear; and, in practice, I was surprised to learn that this was not the case. As the famous quote goes by Jon Kabat-Zinn, “Wherever you go, there you are.” I definitely experienced less external pressure, once I left the office, but I managed to quickly fill this gap with internally driven pressure and worries.
The human brain is a funny thing. Once an issue is removed, it adeptly replaces it with another, if you are not careful. It does not naturally rest in a state of ease. According to Buddhist principles, this tendency is called the “monkey mind.” The term that refers to the natural human inclination to feel unsettled, restless, or confused. I came to realize that cultivating rest and ease is an active, daily practice. It starts with paying attention to the internally driven pressures, determining what is essential, and then letting the rest go. It requires allowing for some things to fall off of the table.
During my time away, I have learned the value of rest. For me, rest has always been a “nice to have”, or an act of indulgence while I am on holiday. I now understand that rest is something that must be scheduled in, and committed to, along with other priorities. I cannot function efficiently without it. It is the gas that fills up my tank. Although it is challenging to find time in a busy life, rest takes many forms, including something as simple as fifteen minutes of reading, or a short ten minute nap. It does not have to be a big thing. Little actions add up to having a big impact.
Despite my reservations about ending my sabbatical, the reality is the person who is showing up at the office tomorrow is not the same person who left. And when one element in a situation, or relationship changes, the whole dynamic shifts. I bring back with me a range of new experiences and perspectives that will help me to protect my heart and mind from returning to a state of overload. I just need to take it one moment at a time, find my centre, and remain gentle with myself during the transition.
Cold water or “wild” swimming is something that I began doing during the pandemic, along with countless people across the globe. It has a many reported health benefits, including alleviating anxiety and depression, improving circulation and reducing inflammation. I appreciate that it gives me a regular excuse to spend quality time with my friends and I feel great for hours after I finish my swim.
In addition to the health benefits, I like that it is an accessible activity (you can do it most places and it is free), and you can generally find a community wherever you go. When I was in Ireland this spring, I enjoyed swimming in lakes, rivers and the Atlantic Ocean. Through word of mouth, I met some lovely people who kindly welcomed me to join their regular swimming groups. It was a fun and memorable way to explore the local landscape. #JoyBlogging
“Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole and against a wide sky.”
As a working mom, I am always looking for heathy, inexpensive and delicious recipes for my family. Thanks to a recommendation from a friend, I recently signed up for a one-year subscription to the New York Times cooking app and web site. It is a digital cookbook and guide with a massive library: at $50 (Canadian), it is good value. I have been really impressed with the quality and variety offered by this resource so far. Recipes are rated through a five-star system and users provide additional feedback and ideas through the comments. Check it out and let me know what you think!
One of my favourite things about living on the west coast of Canada is spending time in and on the Pacific Ocean. I love to swim with my friends, year round, and experience the amazing health benefits of the cold salt water; and I really enjoy padding in my little kayak with my pup on a sunny afternoon.
It has been a beautiful, slow transition into fall this year, with many bright, crisp days; and this has given me extra opportunities to get out in my boat. Today, I ventured out with Lucky and we explored along the coastline. I loved peering into the shallow waters and spotting the sea life below. We passed over top of starfish, minnows, oysters and bull kelp forests. A heron stood guard on a rocky outcrop, patiently waiting for its prey. Sandpipers gathered in large groups and seagulls floated over head. It was peaceful and serene. What an exceptional gift it is to be able to immerse myself in this beautiful landscape. #JoyBlogging
Breath by Breath 