Something to Inspire

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“Tonglen practice has to do with cultivating fearlessness. When you do this practice for some time, you experience your heart as more open. You begin to realize that fear has to do with wanting to protect your heart: you feel that something is going to harm your heart, and therefore you protect it. Again and again, in the Buddhist teachings, in the Shambhala teachings, and in any tradition that teaches us how to live well, we are encouraged to cultivate fearlessness. How do we do that? Certainly the sitting practice of meditation is one way, because through it we come to know ourselves so completely and with such gentleness.”

Excerpted from: Awakening Loving-Kindness by Pema Chödrön, pgs 113–114.

A Bright Light

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This is my friend Heidi. Heidi passed away on April 28, 2025, after a nine-year battle with breast cancer; she left behind two beautiful children, a life partner, and an expansive network of friends and family. Heidi was forty-eight years old.

I first met Heidi fourteen years ago. She generously donated her professional time and expertise to help our local daycare transform a dry and lifeless plot of land into a beautiful and joyful space for the children. The energy and enthusiasm that she brought to the project demonstrated her lifetime commitment to community and reflected her generous heart.

Seven years later, Heidi and I reconnected when she helped me transform my home garden. It was a massive project. I felt overwhelmed and unsure where to start. In a typical Heidi-way, she looked at me with her inquisitive eyes, and a wide smile and said, “Well, let’s just take it one bed at a time.” And so we did. We dug every new bed together, hauled endless piles of compost and dirt, moved and arranged plants. It was satisfying and exhilarating work. I will always remember it with so much pride and fondness.

During the two years that we worked together on the project, we both experienced divorce. My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease and Heidi was diagnosed with cancer. It was a difficult time, and yet, we immersed ourselves in transforming the garden, and shared many beautiful, meandering conversations on love, life and the universe. I will never forget Heidi’s unwavering ability to remain optimistic throughout it all.

Yesterday, I attended a celebration of life for Heidi at the Horticulture Centre of the Pacific: a magical place where she worked and taught at for many years. At least a hundred people came out to honour her life, with many travelling in from far away places. It was incredible to hear all of the stories, poems and songs shared. One by one, children, friends, family and colleagues came to the microphone and expressed gratitude for how she touched their lives.

A particular story that stood out for me was one shared by Heidi’s mother. She spoke of an experience during Heidi’s last days in hospital. After a particularly stressful incident, the two of them were left in the room alone, and her mother noticed a sudden shift in energy. There was an inexplicable feeling of expansive joy and ease. She looked at Heidi laying on the bed; and noticed she was smiling, with her eyes closed. When she finally opened them again, Heidi said, “Mom, I have seen what it looks like on the other side. There is nothing to worry about. It is so beautiful.”

Although Heidi’s physical body is gone, her spirit continues to live on in the gardens she planted, and the peoples lives that she touched. She was an extraordinary human being and I feel fortunate to have called her my friend.

Something to Inspire

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A few months ago, I shared the Letters to Love project. It is a powerful practice and community started by Liz Gilbert. She recently shared one of her own letters and it deeply resonated with me. I wanted to share it with you and encourage you to explore more of her work on Substack.

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Dear Love, what would you have me know today about finding a sense of calm?  

Oh my dearest little jitterbug, what a sweet question! Where indeed can a body find a sense of calm? In this world? In this economy? Surrounded by these monkeys-dressed-in-human-garb? Sometimes it seems impossible, doesn’t it?

I can start by telling you that you aren’t going to find it out there. Your calm is not located in the outside world, nor does anyone else besides you hold the keys to it.

I mean, yes, you can find temporary fixes to a nervous body by reaching for things outside of yourself to settle you down, and heaven knows you have tried them all over the decades: prescription and non-prescription drugs, alcohol, food, mass media and social media, somebody else’s body or attention upon you, perfectionism, success, shopping, adventure . . . oh, my dear little twerky bean, the world has so much to offer you that will alter your nervous system. Yes indeed it does — and all you have to do to get it is pay through the nose, or beg, or hunt, or manipulate, or compromise and exhaust yourself.

But is that really what calm is? Really? Something you pay for, or barter for?

Why would we have designed you that way? Why would we have made it so difficult for you, such that finding a sense of ease in the world would require you to work so hard in the material realm? And why would we have made it so that your sense of calm is so fragile and fleeting that all it would take to disturb your serenity is for you to lose any of those temporary fixes that you have clutched at in order to settle yourself down?

Why would we have made you so DEPENDENT, when we love you so much?

Well, my dear, we didn’t. It’s all been a big misunderstanding. Your calm is not dependent at all upon what happens outside of you. You know this intellectually, my love, and you’ve certainly read enough spiritual texts to believe it to be the truth, but it’s time for you to know it in your body. And that’s what we are working on here.

My love, your sense of dis-ease and disturbance has always come from within you, but so does the remedy. Doesn’t that make sense? The same brain that can produce cortisol and adrenaline can also produce oxytocin and serotonin. If the trouble is within, then so is the fix. Doesn’t that sound like how nature works? It is how nature works.

And this should be incredibly good news for you, given that the world has become more unstable than ever. How dreadful it would be if you had to rely upon people, places, or things in the outside in order to feel okay on the inside. (How long are you planning to wait for that, by the way? For everything in the outside world to be put in order, such that you can relax? How’s that going so far?)

Why would we do that to you, when we love you so much?

My child, it is no accident that I have been telling you more strongly than ever that it is time to go within. Every day in our communion, I have been telling you that all the relief and connection you need are to be found within the autonomous nervous system that we have provided for you. That your moods and fears and indeed your HOPE does not need to be tied to anyone else, or anything else, ever again.

We have a plan for you. It involves things you already know how to do. It’s just a matter of your doing it with more love and commitment than ever. Meditate, my dear one — but I want you to sit for more time each day, and sometimes twice a day. Get married to meditation. All the answers you will ever need will be found in the space of meditation — including my voice. And remember — listening to my voice is the same thing as meditating. If you’re sitting quietly conversing with me, that is meditation. If you are writing letters from me, that is meditation. And if you are reading and responding to letters that I have written to others, that is also meditation.

So ask me to come and visit you, while you are sitting still and quiet. I will talk you through it. We will be together. I will tell you everything you need to know.

Your breath is my breath, sweetheart. We share the same breath. I am your breath. Which means that approximately 12 to 20 times a minute, I come to visit you, to replenish you, and to tell you how much I love you.

Your heart is my heart, child. We share the same heart. Now go there and roam. Your heart is our home. I’ll meet you there.

Have a quiet day. I love you —

Love, LOVE

Joy Journal

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Joy Journal #35: March 16, 2024

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My mom loved to garden. She was an artist and she brought her creative abilities into nature. She never followed a formal structure or a plan. She figured things out as she went and tended to plants in her own unique way.

The spring before she went into long term care for Alzheimer’s disease, she planted bulbs in my beds. A bunch here, a sprinkling there. There is no rhyme or reason. Now, every March, the daffodils, tulips and crocuses pop up across my yard in the most unusual of places. They creating a beautiful collage of bright colours; and I see my mother reflected every time they appear. #JoyBlogging

Something to Inspire

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Calling All Grand Mothers

We have to live
differently
or we
will die
in the same
old ways.
 
Therefore
I call on all Grand Mothers
everywhere
on the planet
to rise
and take your place
in the leadership
of the world.
 
Come out
of the kitchen
out of the
fields
out of the
beauty parlors
out of the
television.
 
Step forward
& assume
the role
for which
you were
created:
To lead humanity
to health, happiness
& sanity.

I call on
all the
Grand Mothers
of Earth
& every person
who possesses
the Grand Mother
spirit
of respect for
life
&
protection of
the young
to rise
& lead.

The life of
our species
depends
on it.
 
And I call on all men
of Earth
to gracefully
and
gratefully
 
stand aside
& let them
(let us)
do so.

~ Alice Walker

Something to Inspire

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This is one of the most incredible things I have ever seen. The photographer filmed a time lapse sequence which captures the earth rotating. It is awe inspiring to witness the movement of our planet in this vast universe; and incredible to realize that this is taking place around us every moment of every day.

Positive Neuroplasticity: Rick Hanson

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Our brains are wired to take in the bad, and ignore the good. This is why it is easier to fixate on bad things rather than enjoy the good things in life. Because of the brain’s negativity bias, we have evolved to learn quickly from bad experiences, and slowly from good ones. This leaves us feeling more stressed, anxious, lonely, irritated, and inadequate than we need to be.

We can learn new ways of being. The way to build a foundation for happiness is to deliberately weave positive experiences into the fabric of your brain and your self. Dr. Rick Hanson provides a range of actionable resources on his web site. You can learn more about them here.