Last spring, I went with my sister to see Liz Gilbert speak at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre in Vancouver. I have been a fan of her work for a long time but I am equally as interested in her as a person. She explores the human condition in such a real, raw and authentic way. I appreciate her commitment to self-compassion, curiosity and vulnerability; and I was excited to hear her speak on this tour, not about a particular book, but rather about her reflections on how to live a good life.

It was a brilliant presentation and I took notes throughout. I thought you might be interested in reading through some of the wisdom shared.

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“What are you willing to give up to have the thing (life) you keep pretending you want? All of your time is being spent doing things other than what you pretend you want most (e.g. watching tv, going out with friends instead of writing). You aren’t prioritizing the thing you keep telling me is the most important in your life. Stop playing around or stop wasting my time. Focus. Do the work.”

~ Advice shared from the female artist in Liz Gilbert’s Lower Eastside neighbourhood. She was her unofficial mentor. This woman lived the life that Liz envied. This was a transformational moment for Liz when she realized she had to stop talking and start doing the work.

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“It’s all going to be all right.” ~ advice from Liz’s friend Richard from Texas

The most relaxed person in the world is the most powerful. They can see everything. They are present with the vast expansiveness of the situation. They see details and options that others cannot see. When you are anxious, you have tunnel vision. I do not want my last breaths on this beautiful earth to be stressful.

To be relaxed, you have to choose. You need to start by saying no to a lot of stuff that you really want to do. You only have one life. Don’t waste it. 

To live a relaxed life, women need three things:

1. Priorities
2. Boundaries
3. Mysticism 

Priorities:

Three most important words: I don’t care.

What do you care about? Who do you care about? It cannot be very much. There are a few things that I care about intensely. These are defined as my priorities.

Boundaries: 

The great mythologist, Joseph Campbell, spent his entire life studying the religions of the world. He was asked, “What is the definition of sacred?” and  “How do human beings make something sacred?” He responded, “It’s the simplest thing in the entire world, and you do not need a priest for it, anybody can do it. Here’s how humans make something sacred: You draw a circle around it and you say everything inside this circle is holy. It’s sacred because you said so. That is called a boundary, and a boundary is not a wall. A boundary is not something that you hide behind. A boundary is a golden circle that you draw around the things that matter to you, and you say everything inside this circle is sacred. If you treat it with respect, you are allowed to come in, but take your shoes off and bow because you are coming into the center of holiness here. And if it’s not, and it’s outside, then what do we say? We say, “I do not care.”

“Your sacred place is where you can find yourself again and again.” ~ Joseph Campbell

“I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Women are taught to be servants to the world. To ignore their own needs. In order for women to step into the divine, they have to cultivate a sense of self. A man needs to do the opposite. They need to let go of self.

“I have no difficult people in my life. The world is a difficult place. I chose who I let into my life. I can think of no one who is entitled to be in it.” ~ Rachel Cargle 

Mysticism:

Mysticism is defined as interactions between humans and the divine. Martha Beck interviewed a wide range of successful women. They all shared a common experience. “I heard a voice.” “I have a spirit guide.” “My ancestors spoke to me.” They established connection to a deeper level. They tapped into the base notes of divinity. An internal guidance system told them to: Trust this person. Take action now. 

Thin places in the universe are created through experiencing deep suffering. 

“There is a crack in everything. That’s where the light gets in.” ~ Leonard Cohen

Relax completely in the embrace of someone who is deeply fond of you: have faith in the vast and endless love of the divine.

“When we have got something for you to do, you will be notified.” Wait for the signal.

When you are actually needed, which is not very often, you will recognize it.

“I said to my soul, be still and wait without hope, for hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love, for love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith, but the faith and the love are all in the waiting. Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought: So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.” ~ TS Eliot

“Wow, wow, wow.” ~ Steve Jobs’ last words. 

Rayya Elias ~ After fighting with death until the bitter end, Rayya has a look of wonder and joy on her face when she passed over.

Religion is for people who are afraid to go to hell. Spirituality is for people who have already been there.

My objective in the second half of my life is to move through the world in a relaxed state.

No abandonment of self. No saying yes when I mean no.

I am at the centre of the sacredness. I am my own guardian. I do not use anything that alters my mood or state of being.

Tools: Insight Timer. Taylor Somerville’s breath meditations.

Read something that feels sacred. Poets and poetry. Liz believes when poets die they leave the door to the sacred open. Reading their work provides access.

Two way prayer. Talking with love. It is a form of downloading information and listening to what love is saying to you. 

Ask the divine one question in a journal a day: “Dear Love, what would you have me know today?” Use the sweetest terms in response – my beloved…my sweet…

“What is the best thing I should be putting my energy into?” Sometimes she asks herself several times a day. 

“You will be notified when we have something for you to do.”

Take care of the animal body until the divine provides instructions. Pretend you are taking care of an animal that you adopted from a shelter, with utmost love and tenderness (e.g. drink water, take a bath, walk, meditate).

All problems are solved by walking.

Travel with a teddy bear. Care for the small and young part of the self with love and kindness.