Author: breath.by.breath
Learning to live an awake and authentic life, one breath at a time.
Joy Journal
Joy Journal #16: October 8, 2022
Today is my birthday and I am turning forty-seven years old. It is hard to believe that I am already closing in on the end of another decade. It seems like yesterday that I was turning forty. It reminds me of how important it is to appreciate every moment of life, as it really does go by quickly.
I am currently in Mexico visiting my step-dad for ten days. It is the final stretch of my sabbatical, as I start back at work in November. Returning to the ranch, I can feel my mother’s presence everywhere, despite her physical absence. It brings up a sadness and nostalgia for something that is gone, as well as gratitude for the beauty and love that we shared in our brief time together.
Bob has given me a special birthday to remember. We cooked a meal, featuring homemade guacamole and quesadillas, and he picked up a delicious chocolate cake from a bakery in San Miguel de Allende. We watched a really good movie, Dark Waters. It was a lovely day all around. His thoughtfulness and care is something that I deeply appreciate. It is the best gift of all. #JoyBlogging
Listen List: Harry Stiles, “Sweet Creature”
Heart Centered Learning: Thanksgiving Address
Today, it is Thanksgiving in Canada; and I thought it fitting to share an address from the Haudenosaunee Confederacy.
The confederacy, made up of the Mohawks, Oneidas, Onondagas, Cayugas, and Senecas was intended as a way to unite the nations and create a peaceful means of decision making. Through the confederacy, each of the nations of the Haudenosaunee are united by a common goal to live in harmony. Each nation maintains it own council with Chiefs chosen by the Clan Mother and deals with its own internal affairs but allows the Grand Council to deal with issues affecting the nations within the confederacy.
Often described as the oldest, participatory democracy on Earth, the Haudenosaunee Confederacy’s constitution is believed to be a model for the American Constitution. What makes it unique is its blending of law and values. For the Haudenosaunee, law, society and nature are equal partners and each plays an important role.
The Thanksgiving Address (the Ohen:ton Karihwatehkwen) is the central prayer and invocation for the Haudenosaunee. It reflects their relationship of giving thanks for life and the world around them.
Read the full address here: Haudenosaunee Thanksgiving Address
My Boat
A friend once told me that she thinks of her life as a boat with a limited number of seats on it. Every person who is allowed on board is given priority access to her time and energy, so she is careful about who she chooses as a passenger.
Although this analogy could be interpreted as mean spirited, I find it to be quite wise. The reality is we are all have a finite amount of resources to allocate each day. When we are tapped out, both emotionally and physically, there is nothing left to give: so it is important to be mindful of what we are giving and to whom.
I like to think of my own life as a series of concentric circles, with a small handful of priority people nestled at the core (my “boat”), and other friends and family members placed in wider and wider circles of importance, which ripple out from my centre point.
There is enough love, time and energy for everyone who falls within my radius, but the amount that I allocate, and how often, varies upon their proximity to the source. This works for me; and it helps me to prioritize what I say “yes” and “no” to in my life.
Joy Journal
Joy Journal #15: October 2, 2022
This morning I participated in the CIBC Run for the Cure with my lovely friend, Carla. It is an annual fundraising event organized in support of breast cancer research. I ran in honour of my Aunt Charlis, who passed away at age fifty-four from the disease, as well as my Grammie, and my friend, Heidi, who continues to fight the good fight. Carla ran in memory of her father, who passed away from cancer. Through our collective efforts, we raised over $1000 between us.
It was a beautiful, sunny morning up at the University of Victoria. As we ran around the ring road, passing through groups of laughing friends, and children pushed in strollers tied with pink and white balloons, it was apparent how this disease impacts so many lives, both young and old: and yet, despite its destruction, people continue to show up, to love one another, and believe in a better future. #JoyBlogging
Something to Inspire
“The Buddha taught that flexibility and openness bring strength and that running from groundlessness weakens us and brings pain. But do we understand that becoming familiar with the running away is the key? Openness doesn’t come from resisting our fears but from getting to know them well.”
~ Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times
Things I Love: 1000 True Fans & Smallest Viable Audience
Here are two unique but related concepts that I think are worth sharing with you.
“To be a successful creator you don’t need millions. You don’t need millions of dollars or millions of customers, millions of clients or millions of fans. To make a living as a craftsperson, photographer, musician, designer, author, animator, app maker, entrepreneur, or inventor you need only thousands of true fans.
A true fan is defined as a fan that will buy anything you produce. These diehard fans will drive 200 miles to see you sing; they will buy the hardback and paperback and audible versions of your book; they will purchase your next figurine sight unseen; they will pay for the “best-of” DVD version of your free youtube channel; they will come to your chef’s table once a month. If you have roughly a thousand of true fans like this (also known as super fans), you can make a living — if you are content to make a living but not a fortune.
Here’s how the math works. You need to meet two criteria. First, you have to create enough each year that you can earn, on average, $100 profit from each true fan. That is easier to do in some arts and businesses than others, but it is a good creative challenge in every area because it is always easier and better to give your existing customers more, than it is to find new fans.
Second, you must have a direct relationship with your fans. That is, they must pay you directly. You get to keep all of their support, unlike the small percent of their fees you might get from a music label, publisher, studio, retailer, or other intermediate. If you keep the full $100 of each true fan, then you need only 1,000 of them to earn $100,000 per year. That’s a living for most folks.
A thousand customers is a whole lot more feasible to aim for than a million fans. Millions of paying fans is not a realistic goal to shoot for, especially when you are starting out. But a thousand fans is doable. You might even be able to remember a thousand names. If you added one new true fan per day, it’d only take a few years to gain a thousand…”
To read the whole article, click here.
The Smallest Viable Audience: Seth Godin
“The media and our culture push us to build something for everyone, to sand off the edges and to invest in infrastructure toward scale.
But it turns out that quality, magic and satisfaction can lie in the other direction. Not because we can’t get bigger, but because we’d rather be better.
One of the three best restaurants in New York only has 14 seats. With the right fan base and technology, that’s enough to allow the chef to build an experience he can be proud of. Down the street is an extraordinary cafe that pays a tiny fraction of the rent that a midtown neighbourhood would require. It’s not about getting found by everyone. A focus on experience creates something that (some) people want to look for…
…The strategy of the smallest viable audience doesn’t let you off the hook–it does the opposite. You don’t get to say, “well, we’ll just wait for the next random person to find us.” Instead, you have to choose your customers–who’s it for and what’s it for. And when you’ve identified them, the opportunity/requirement is to create so much delight and connection that they choose to spread the word to like-minded peers.”
To read the whole article, click here.
Joy Journal
Joy Journal #14: October 4, 2022
Today I watched as my dog, Lucky, discovered a sunny spot on the dining room rug. He settled in for a nap. He often does this in the afternoon. It reminds me of when I was a little girl, aged three or four; I would find a pool of sun, shining in through our sliding glass doors, and I would lie down, close my eyes, and enjoy the feeling of warmth on my body. It is these little things that fill us up. #JoyBlogging
Watch List: Borgen
I recently watched Borgen on Netflix. It is a Danish political drama series that tells the story of Birgitte Nyborg Christensen, a minor centrist politician, who becomes the first female prime minister of Denmark. Although it was originally planned to be a trilogy, Netflix commissioned an additional forth season, which is also available on their platform. Borgen is an excellent and captivating series that explores ethics and public service, as well as unpacks timely topics, such as climate change, immigration, equity and the danger of rising nationalism on a global scale. I highly recommend it.
Heart Centered Learning: FX Fees
When I was travelling in Europe this past spring, I discovered that many credit card issuers charge the consumer a foreign transaction (FX) fee on top of each purchase. Any purchase made at a store, restaurant or other vendor outside of Canada or the United States may be subject to a FX fee.
It typically ranges from 1% to 5% of the transaction. These charges are often buried deep in the terms and conditions of your credit card agreement; and in the case of Canadian credit cards, the fee is wrapped into the original charge, so you will not notice it unless you do the math.
In addition to FX fees, many tourist establishments offer the option of paying in your home currency. Be wary of this option, as the currency conversion rates are almost always worse than the rates you would get if you simply processed the charge in local currency and you will still be charged a FX fee on top of it.
A good rule of thumb is to have the card charged in the local currency to avoid conversion fees and to choose a card that does not charge foreign transaction fees for all purchases made abroad. You can learn more about this issue and your options through the following articles:
https://www.forbes.com/advisor/credit-cards/foreign-transaction-fees/
Resistance, Flow & Ease
I am a planner. I like to organize, decide a course of action, and create forward motion. It helps me to feel ‘in control’ of my life. As I get older, however, I am realizing that there really is no such thing as control. Hard work and effort are certainly essential and valuable; but these actions will not necessarily take you exactly where you want to go.
Sometimes we set our minds on obtaining the ‘perfect’ job, relationship or opportunity; but if you really pay attention, you will notice that no matter how hard you push, or how certain you are, it will not come together unless it is meant to be. You cannot force it. And when it is the right fit, there is almost nothing that you can do to stop it from it gaining momentum. It is so easy and effortless.
I continue to dream and plan and organize but I know that when I meet enough resistance, it is not the right fit, and I must change tactic. This does not mean giving up, but it does mean that I must consider another route, or investigate a different approach; and if it still does not work, I begin to open my mind up to new possibilities, and pay attention to where there is more ease and flow: then I go in that direction. Sometimes you discover the most delightful surprises and opportunities in the most unexpected of places.
Breath by Breath 